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why have one coach when you can have two?

With NSFW, we like to think our two heads really are better than one.

We both know you and your goals, and we both create your programme and review your progress.

We're two coaches, business partners and best mates with our own strengths.

We bring our own experience, ideas and perspective to your training and nutrition.

We coach you using the NSFW Method we created with one shared goal: having fun whilst getting you looking and feeling seriously good.

Two coaches. Two brains. One plan. Twice the attention. Twice the fun! All built around you.

We do all the thinking. You just have one decision to make..

H O W N S F W D O Y O U W A N T T O B E ?

W H A T E V E R Y O U R G O A L...
T H E R E ' S A N N S F W W A Y T O G E T T H E R E

We make fitness fun - science-backed training using our NSFW Method, realistic nutrition and proper coaching — without giving up restaurants, holidays, weekends or having an actual life.

(and we've made some clothes to wear while you're doing it, and afterwards too)

BUILD A BODY
YOU WANT TO SHOW OFF

Build muscle. Lose fat. Get strong. Feel better.

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JOIN THE COMMUNITY

NSFW COaching options

THE NSFW app

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I N C L U D E D I N E V E R Y O P T I O N

T W O C O A C H E S I N Y O U R P O C K E T

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400 workouts

Beginner, Intermediate &
Advanced levels

Warm Ups & Progressions

Guided Workouts

Track weights & reps

Rest timer & swap management

Guided exercise videos & text

WorkouT & Exercise Progress

Every workout & exercise is tracked

Weight, Rep, 1RM & Volume

Graphs & history

Food Tracking

Calorie tracking

Macro tracking

Integration with Cronometer

PROGRESS & METRICS

Your own personal profile

Photos, weight & measurements

Tracking - graphs & history

Messaging & Community

In-app messaging to Neil & Joao

Community Social Page

In-app resources & videos

Get the NSFW App today

OUR FLaGSHIP HYBRID PT PLaN
B U I L D A B O D Y T H A T L O O K S G R E A T...
A N D L A S T S

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personal training that doesn't end when the session does

Hybrid : Personalised training. Personalised nutrition. Two coaches. One plan.

B U I L T A R O U N D Y O U R L I F E.

Training, nutrition and progression designed around how you actually live.

T W O C O A C H E S.

Two perspectives, twice the experience, twice the attention, twice the fun .. one joined-up programme.

T H E P L A N A D A P T S.

Busy week? Holiday? Different gym? You don't start again.

Train independently using your personalised workouts & nutrition targets through the NSFW App, with coaching and strategic face-to-face sessions when they add the most value.

Start Hybrid PT today

FOLlow us on instagram
@ N S F W _ U K

We love a good circuit 🔥🪩💪⚡️🌟💫

We love a good circuit 🔥🪩💪⚡️🌟💫

🚨 TAKING EACH OTHER DOWN. 🚨

The fitness industry has a strange habit.

Every week somebody has to invent…

❌ the only glute activation drill you’ll ever need
❌ the latest hypertrophy protocol
❌ the secret fat-loss hack
❌ the revolutionary mobility routine

…usually while telling you everyone else has been doing it wrong.

Funny how next Tuesday there’s another “only thing you’ll ever need.”

Meanwhile…

The people actually getting results are doing something much less exciting.

🏋️ Following a structured programme.

🍗 Eating enough protein.

😴 Sleeping.

📈 Progressing their lifts.

🔁 Repeating that for months.

At NSFW, we’re not interested in winning arguments with strangers on TikTok or creating rage-bait to get views.

We’re too busy helping people become stronger, healthier and happier through structured, periodised programming.

Because the best programme isn’t the one that goes viral.

It’s the one you actually stick to.

We know the science.

We just speak human.

#NSFWPT #OnlinePT #OnlineCoachingUK #GymHumour #StrengthTraining

🚨 TAKING EACH OTHER DOWN. 🚨

The fitness industry has a strange habit.

Every week somebody has to invent…

❌ the only glute activation drill you’ll ever need
❌ the latest hypertrophy protocol
❌ the secret fat-loss hack
❌ the revolutionary mobility routine

…usually while telling you everyone else has been doing it wrong.

Funny how next Tuesday there’s another “only thing you’ll ever need.”

Meanwhile…

The people actually getting results are doing something much less exciting.

🏋️ Following a structured programme.

🍗 Eating enough protein.

😴 Sleeping.

📈 Progressing their lifts.

🔁 Repeating that for months.

At NSFW, we’re not interested in winning arguments with strangers on TikTok or creating rage-bait to get views.

We’re too busy helping people become stronger, healthier and happier through structured, periodised programming.

Because the best programme isn’t the one that goes viral.

It’s the one you actually stick to.

We know the science.

We just speak human.

#NSFWPT #OnlinePT #OnlineCoachingUK #GymHumour #StrengthTraining

THE MOST NSFW THING ALICE FOUND WITH US..
(and it wasn’t the muscle 😜)

When Alice joined NSFW back in January, she had a goal that so many women quietly have.

Lose some body fat. Feel fitter.

She also had one challenge she really wanted to achieve:

“I’d love to be able to pick up my own bodyweight.”

Reasonable. Unfortunately for Alice, she found two coaches who have a habit of making people realise they’re capable of much more than they think.

Fast forward a few months.

💪 6 inches lost.
🏋️ Deadlifting 100kg.
⚡ Stronger than she’s ever been

But here’s the bit we love most.

Alice hasn’t just become stronger.

She’s become more confident.

She walks taller.

She backs herself more.

She smiles more.

She isn’t just lifting heavier…

She’s feeling more like Alice again.

And that’s the bit social media doesn’t talk about enough.

Fitness isn’t just changing your body.

It’s changing how you feel IN your body.

The W is NSFW stands for Wellbeing. And Wellbeing isn’t:
📏 a dress size.
⚖️ a number on the scales.
🏋️ a deadlift PB.

It’s waking up feeling capable.
Feeling healthy.
Feeling confident.

The body fat loss is brilliant. So is the muscle growth.

The 100kg deadlift is AWESOME.

But seeing somebody rediscover who they are…

That’s why we do this.

We know the science.

We just speak human.

#NSFWPT #OnlineCoaching #OnlinePT #PersonalTrainer #PT

THE MOST NSFW THING ALICE FOUND WITH US..
(and it wasn’t the muscle 😜)

When Alice joined NSFW back in January, she had a goal that so many women quietly have.

Lose some body fat. Feel fitter.

She also had one challenge she really wanted to achieve:

“I’d love to be able to pick up my own bodyweight.”

Reasonable. Unfortunately for Alice, she found two coaches who have a habit of making people realise they’re capable of much more than they think.

Fast forward a few months.

💪 6 inches lost.
🏋️ Deadlifting 100kg.
⚡ Stronger than she’s ever been

But here’s the bit we love most.

Alice hasn’t just become stronger.

She’s become more confident.

She walks taller.

She backs herself more.

She smiles more.

She isn’t just lifting heavier…

She’s feeling more like Alice again.

And that’s the bit social media doesn’t talk about enough.

Fitness isn’t just changing your body.

It’s changing how you feel IN your body.

The W is NSFW stands for Wellbeing. And Wellbeing isn’t:
📏 a dress size.
⚖️ a number on the scales.
🏋️ a deadlift PB.

It’s waking up feeling capable.
Feeling healthy.
Feeling confident.

The body fat loss is brilliant. So is the muscle growth.

The 100kg deadlift is AWESOME.

But seeing somebody rediscover who they are…

That’s why we do this.

We know the science.

We just speak human.

#NSFWPT #OnlineCoaching #OnlinePT #PersonalTrainer #PT

🏋️ FIX YOUR FORM

“My squat’s been stuck for ages.”
It’s one of the most common things we hear.
Then we watch someone squat...

Half reps.
No brace.
No control.
No posterior chain work.
...and they wonder why the bar hasn’t moved in six months.

The truth?

Most people don’t have a squat strength problem.
They have a squat technique problem.
💥 Brace before every rep. 💥 Hit the same depth every time. 💥 Build your glutes and hamstrings, not just your quads. 💥 Squat more than once a week if getting stronger is the goal. 💥 Stop living in the “comfortable” weight range.

Here’s the bit nobody wants to hear...
A bigger squat isn’t built by endlessly squatting.
It’s built by strengthening EVERYTHING that supports the squat.
Your core transfers force.
Your glutes drive the lift.
Your hamstrings stabilise you.
Your upper back keeps the bar where it belongs.
Strong legs matter.
A strong body matters more.
Train the system, not just the movement.
Your future PB will thank you.
⚡ Save this for your next leg day. 👊 Then send it to the mate who’s still doing quarter squats and calling them “depth to parallel.”

#FixYourForm #NSFWPT #Squat #StrengthTraining #LegDay MaidenheadPT

🏋️ FIX YOUR FORM

“My squat’s been stuck for ages.”
It’s one of the most common things we hear.
Then we watch someone squat...

Half reps.
No brace.
No control.
No posterior chain work.
...and they wonder why the bar hasn’t moved in six months.

The truth?

Most people don’t have a squat strength problem.
They have a squat technique problem.
💥 Brace before every rep. 💥 Hit the same depth every time. 💥 Build your glutes and hamstrings, not just your quads. 💥 Squat more than once a week if getting stronger is the goal. 💥 Stop living in the “comfortable” weight range.

Here’s the bit nobody wants to hear...
A bigger squat isn’t built by endlessly squatting.
It’s built by strengthening EVERYTHING that supports the squat.
Your core transfers force.
Your glutes drive the lift.
Your hamstrings stabilise you.
Your upper back keeps the bar where it belongs.
Strong legs matter.
A strong body matters more.
Train the system, not just the movement.
Your future PB will thank you.
⚡ Save this for your next leg day. 👊 Then send it to the mate who’s still doing quarter squats and calling them “depth to parallel.”

#FixYourForm #NSFWPT #Squat #StrengthTraining #LegDay MaidenheadPT

🚗 JOAO’S EXERCISE OF THE WEEK
AUTOGLASS REPAIR... AUTOGLASS REPLACE (AKA THE BAND PULL APART)

For years we thought this exercise was invented to strengthen your upper back.
Turns out...

It was actually invented by an Autoglass technician who got that bloody jingle stuck in his head one too many times. 🎵 AUTOGLASS REPAIR... AUTOGLASS REPLACE... 🎵

The movement is simple.
Pull the band apart. Try not to sing.
Nobody has managed the second bit.
🔧🔧🔧

Jokes aside, band pull aparts are one of the best exercises you can add to your upper body training.

✅ Strengthen your upper back and rear delts
✅ Improve shoulder stability and posture
✅ Counteract all those hours spent hunched over a desk, steering wheel or phone

They’re brilliant as part of your warm-up, between pressing exercises or at the end of an upper body session.
Small exercise.
Massive payoff.
Now if you’ll excuse us...

We’ve got a windscreen to replace.
🎵 AUTOGLASS REPAIR...AUTOGLASS REPLACE... 🎵
...Sorry.

Once it’s in your head, it’s there all day.
#NSFWPT #ShoulderHealth #MaidenheadPersonalTrainer #OnlinePersonalTrainer #FitnessHacks

🚗 JOAO’S EXERCISE OF THE WEEK
AUTOGLASS REPAIR... AUTOGLASS REPLACE (AKA THE BAND PULL APART)

For years we thought this exercise was invented to strengthen your upper back.
Turns out...

It was actually invented by an Autoglass technician who got that bloody jingle stuck in his head one too many times. 🎵 AUTOGLASS REPAIR... AUTOGLASS REPLACE... 🎵

The movement is simple.
Pull the band apart. Try not to sing.
Nobody has managed the second bit.
🔧🔧🔧

Jokes aside, band pull aparts are one of the best exercises you can add to your upper body training.

✅ Strengthen your upper back and rear delts
✅ Improve shoulder stability and posture
✅ Counteract all those hours spent hunched over a desk, steering wheel or phone

They’re brilliant as part of your warm-up, between pressing exercises or at the end of an upper body session.
Small exercise.
Massive payoff.
Now if you’ll excuse us...

We’ve got a windscreen to replace.
🎵 AUTOGLASS REPAIR...AUTOGLASS REPLACE... 🎵
...Sorry.

Once it’s in your head, it’s there all day.
#NSFWPT #ShoulderHealth #MaidenheadPersonalTrainer #OnlinePersonalTrainer #FitnessHacks

NSFW HELPDESK 🚨
📩 “Is HYROX bad for you?”
No. Next question. ...only joking.
HYROX isn’t bad for you.

In fact, when trained for properly, it’s a brilliant combination of: 🏃 cardiovascular fitness 💪 muscular endurance 🏋️ strength 🫀 work capacity

The problem usually isn’t HYROX.
It’s Pete from Accounts. Pete hasn’t run properly since Year 11 cross country.
His idea of conditioning is walking from the office to Pret.
Then one Monday morning he announces: “I’ve entered HYROX in eight weeks.”

Suddenly Pete’s: 🏃 sprinting intervals 🏋️ pushing heavy sleds 🦵 doing walking lunges across the gym 😵 wondering why his calves have filed a formal complaint.

The body is amazing...provided you give it time to adapt.
Bones adapt. Muscles adapt. Tendons adapt. Your cardiovascular system adapts.

But none of them appreciate being introduced to a sport at 100mph because your mate Dave said, “Go on, it’ll be a laugh.”

HYROX isn’t dangerous.
Ignoring progressive overload is.

The people who tend to enjoy it the most are the ones who gradually build: ✅ their running volume ✅ their strength ✅ their conditioning ✅ their recovery

Instead of trying to cram six months of preparation into six Saturdays.

So if you’re thinking about entering one...
Brilliant.
Train for it.
Respect it.
Enjoy it.
Just don’t let enthusiasm write cheques your knees haven’t agreed to cash.

📚 Research: • Sudden spikes in training load are strongly associated with increased injury risk (Gabbett, 2016). • Progressive overload allows muscles, tendons and connective tissues to adapt safely over time (American College of Sports Medicine Position Stand, 2009). • Combining endurance and resistance training improves cardiovascular fitness, muscular endurance and overall health when appropriately programmed (Fyfe, Bishop & Stepto, 2014).

#NSFWPT #HYROX #PersonalTrainerMaidenhead #SportsScience #OnlinePT

NSFW HELPDESK 🚨
📩 “Is HYROX bad for you?”
No. Next question. ...only joking.
HYROX isn’t bad for you.

In fact, when trained for properly, it’s a brilliant combination of: 🏃 cardiovascular fitness 💪 muscular endurance 🏋️ strength 🫀 work capacity

The problem usually isn’t HYROX.
It’s Pete from Accounts. Pete hasn’t run properly since Year 11 cross country.
His idea of conditioning is walking from the office to Pret.
Then one Monday morning he announces: “I’ve entered HYROX in eight weeks.”

Suddenly Pete’s: 🏃 sprinting intervals 🏋️ pushing heavy sleds 🦵 doing walking lunges across the gym 😵 wondering why his calves have filed a formal complaint.

The body is amazing...provided you give it time to adapt.
Bones adapt. Muscles adapt. Tendons adapt. Your cardiovascular system adapts.

But none of them appreciate being introduced to a sport at 100mph because your mate Dave said, “Go on, it’ll be a laugh.”

HYROX isn’t dangerous.
Ignoring progressive overload is.

The people who tend to enjoy it the most are the ones who gradually build: ✅ their running volume ✅ their strength ✅ their conditioning ✅ their recovery

Instead of trying to cram six months of preparation into six Saturdays.

So if you’re thinking about entering one...
Brilliant.
Train for it.
Respect it.
Enjoy it.
Just don’t let enthusiasm write cheques your knees haven’t agreed to cash.

📚 Research: • Sudden spikes in training load are strongly associated with increased injury risk (Gabbett, 2016). • Progressive overload allows muscles, tendons and connective tissues to adapt safely over time (American College of Sports Medicine Position Stand, 2009). • Combining endurance and resistance training improves cardiovascular fitness, muscular endurance and overall health when appropriately programmed (Fyfe, Bishop & Stepto, 2014).

#NSFWPT #HYROX #PersonalTrainerMaidenhead #SportsScience #OnlinePT

Can you hip thrust your husband though?
75kg for reps and more in the tank….

@christieesam #NSFWPT

Can you hip thrust your husband though?
75kg for reps and more in the tank….

@christieesam #NSFWPT

Ahmed. 50 sessions strong.
Massive arms. Solid torso. Fast recovery. A joy to train.
💪💪💪
#NSFWPT #MaidenheadPersonalTrainer #OnlinePT #HybridPT #Maidenhead

Ahmed. 50 sessions strong.
Massive arms. Solid torso. Fast recovery. A joy to train.
💪💪💪
#NSFWPT #MaidenheadPersonalTrainer #OnlinePT #HybridPT #Maidenhead

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LET'S GET STarted

CONNECT

You can get started right now by clicking here!

For any other enquires, e-mail apply@nsfw.uk.com or complete the enquiry form below.

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